The American's idea about "dating'" is a completely different principle of what we Chinese think. In China, when we asked about you and him, the answer would either be we are in a relationship or we are not. The three steps of "dating" in China are first, meeting and having feelings; second, being in a relationship, and finally get married or break up. Most of the time , the line between the first and second step is just a sentence," could you be my girlfriend?" or " Let's be together." And then , that's it.
However,based on my observation these years watching American movies,TV shows , and finally came to America, I noticed that American's view of dating is more complicated as well as simpler than what we think. From the beginning "meeting" to the last step "being together", there are miles of ways to go. Two years ago I watched this movie "He‘s just not that into you". It taught me a lot about the dating culture in America. I heard a lot of sayings like " We are seeing each other, but he is not my boyfriend," or "I don't know if I am ready for it." I feel like from the first step meeting to the second being in a relationship, Americans have to gone through a lot more than just a sentence. They have to go through picking up, having dinner, having a crash on, attracted to and seeing each other regularly and finally get into the relationship.
Different Americans even have different ideas about "relationships". But commonly, most of them decided not to take it too serious before they are sure they are ready for it. And also most of the "dating timelines" are flexible; having feelings, dating and having sex, those steps can be changeable not like us Chinese. Some people date first while some people have sex first. But sometimes even they have gone through all the steps, they do not treat themselves as "a thing". They don't know where they are.
When you ask an American about your anniversary, instead of saying "I am with him for a month," they would say" we are seeing each other for a month."
It's confusing me a lot. What exactly is "date"? Does that mean the guy pay the bill? Or if you just pay it on yourself, it's just friends hanging out? I know there's always exception. But " I will pay it" is always a signal of something.
What is exclusive dating? That's a more complicated concept. I wish someone could answer that for me.
Chinese people are always being so serious when they are in a relationship. They always said, you should be responsible or you should take it seriously. Most parents think that "being in a relationship without the purpose of get married is a kind of acting indecently".
Now for me, the complicated way of dating makes me faint. But meanwhile, we always have a choice to go on or quit. We don't need to take it too serious from the right beginning. There is always a way out. And being in the searching for a partner, maybe some day you will realize that this is "the one".
If you are interested, here is the trailer of He is just not that into you,
If you are interested, here is the trailer of He is just not that into you,
I really thought that your point of view about relationship was a way I never thought about. I usually thought that a relationship was way serious and complicated just like you thought after watching the American movies. But just like you said, We don't need to take it too serious from the beginning(:
ReplyDeleteRelationships are fun but sometimes confusing!
I like how you put a lot of your thoughts and feelings into it!
Great posts(: